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Answers to the age old question :

"Why did the chicken cross the road ??"

By Tom V

HASSALL: Listen Tom, if you don't shut up about the chickens you can get out.

STRATFORD: This year I want our chickens to not merely cross the road but quantum leap it.

VARADY: All these chickens from the boys side just crossed to our side

BALDOCK: Where's your late crossing note and how come this chicken isn't wearing the correct socks?

P&C: NO chickens will be allowed to cross Anzac Parade except at the lights.

STRATFORD (cont.) : Those chickens who crossed the road to smoke yesterday - don't think I don't know about you. You know who you are.

HASSALL: Right Tom, get out. I said, GET OUT Tom. Deme, drag Tom out of the room. Matti, help him.

The inspiration for the above:

KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.

PLATO: For the greater good

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

KARL MARX: It was an historical inevitability.

RONALD REAGAN: I forget.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening it's dominant market position.

MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and he said unto the chickens, "Thou shalt cross the road". And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.

MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crosses the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross the road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, what the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Heck it might even work this time.

OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross the roads.

EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends on your frame of reference.

BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON; The chicken did not cross the road ... it transcended it.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY; To die. In the rain.

COLONEL SANDERS; What, you mean I missed one ?


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