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Let’s say you have just met a wonderful person you want to date, through one of the many free dating sites on the Internet or maybe you met the person at the corner coffee shop. Everything is going great, until you find out…the person does not smoke, and you do. What should you do next? Is there happiness for smokers in what seems to be a non-smoking world?If you doubt that it is becoming more and more a non-smoking world, you have only to check the most recent statistics: 39% of US citizens, according to USA Today, live in areas that are covered by laws limiting smoking. At the beginning of 2006, eleven states had bans against smoking in all indoor public places. Consequently, dating and smoking have become a bit more complicated, but with creative thinking, and a little planning ahead, this does not need to be a headache in a smoker’s life.1. Be honest and up front about your smoking and about the fact that your date does or does not smoke. Attempts to deceive someone are generally not appreciated. Another reason to be honest is that a non-smoker’s sense of smell can be very sensitive; some can identify the smell of cigarette smoke in a person’s hair if that person has smoked even a single cigarette after bathing.2. Take some quiet time to reflect on how important smoking is as a part of your life; perhaps you are a committed smoker who has no intention of stopping or even cutting down, and you smoke as much as a pack or more a day. Or, you are someone who only smokes a few cigarettes a day and who is contemplating quitting completely. The reason it is important to know what type of smoker you are is to allow you to be honest with your date about your smoking. If you have not thought about it ahead of time, it can be tempting to say what you think someone else wants to hear. Being honest from the beginning can save you from possible arguments and disappointments farther down the road in your relationship.3. Know the areas where you live that allow indoor and outdoor smoking. If you live in an area that is very restrictive about smoking, you might want to go someplace exotic—drive or fly out of town for a short trip, to a place that is both entertaining and less restrictive with its smoking bans. Remember, smoking is a legal activity, and one that you as an adult have a right to do. It is a fact of life that some of us smoke, and some of us do not; we don’t need to make it good versus bad—we just need to use our creativity to make dating a little easier.4. Don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself, whether you are laughing at your habit of tapping the table as you talk over lunch, or flicking your cigarette in an ash tray every two minutes. Whatever you do, do not be afraid to see yourself as humorous. This is not just a tip so that we all laugh more, but if it were, that would be a good motive in itself. Laughter has been scientifically proven, according to the School of Medicine at Loma Linda University, to increase the immune system’s activity as well as to reduce stress hormones. When it comes to dating, we can all use more fun and less stress.5. Consider breath mints and other ways to take away that aroma smokers can exude. Breath has always been considered an important feature in dating, and we’ve all seen the commercials about popping in a breath mint or chewing gum. Fortunately, breath fresheners are now available as dissolvable strips—just place one on your tongue, and your mouth is alive with cool mint flavor, and the strip itself disappears. Be sure to offer the other person whatever breath enhancer you are using so this can be a time of sharing rather than just focusing on your breath.6. Up to now, we have talked about you and your date. Always remember, the person who is sought after and talked about in a positive way is usually one who makes the other people feel important, cared about, and listened to. In other words, even though we are talking about you as a smoker and tips for dating, the real tip for any new relationship is how you relate to the other person. What can you do to make that person feel cared about and listened to? That has little to do with your smoking or even the smell of your breath and everything to do with whether you are truly interested in what the other person has to say and share, and if you are able to express that interest in a way the other person can understand.7. Some matches just seem to be made in heaven, but we need to remember it is up to us whether we allow the relationship to continue to grow or not. In other words, you find yourself dating the same person more and more; those free dating sites that you once looked at have become a thing of the past for you, since you think maybe you have found the person of your dreams. If that is the case, and smoking is an issue, do not be afraid to confront it head on and deal with it openly. Since you have been honest from the start, and your date knows you are a caring person, the subject is one you as a couple can deal with successfully. The hint here is that while matches are made in heaven, some problems do not vanish unless we deal with them, creatively and constructively.8. Wait to smoke. If you have the self-control to wait and refrain from smoking before or during a date, do not be afraid to exercise that self-control, as long as it is a choice you feel comfortable with. Waiting to smoke says many things about you, all of which can be positive; you are a caring person, you are capable of controlling your habits, and you are aware that others may not appreciate you smoking. And it leaves more time open for enjoying mutual pleasures, like dancing and sailing for instance.9. I’m OK, you’re OK. What you are doing, although some people may not like it, is your choice. And you have a right to both your choices and their consequences. While you cannot demand that everyone likes the fact that you are smoker, you can expect those people who truly care about you to be able to deal with and discuss the issue in a gentle and considerate way. Again, it is very important to know how much smoking matters to you, and how much you are able to bend or change your smoking habits and still be just as happy as you were yesterday, before you met the new person in your life.10. Review all the steps that have been listed and see which ones work for you. A hint is not useful if it does not relate to you or your lifestyle. For instance, say you can’t stand the smell of breath mints, and you are not about to chew some strange sort of gum—tip 5 may be something you may need to modify. All of the hints given work for some people, and your task is to try them, and to use those you find comfortable. The idea is to make your dating more enjoyable. If you do you may not be searching those free dating sites anymore—who knows, you may be ready to read some “how to buy an engagement ring” sites.
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In the modern world an attorney does more than bail people out of jail. Every business including that of the World Wide Web needs the services of an attorney. But the world is full of attorneys of all kinds and sadly not all are honest.Since a client attorney relationship is based on trust you would need to only appoint an attorney you are comfortable with and are not intimidated by. Another important consideration is what you need an attorney for. Law is a specialized field and you will need to look for an attorney who practices in the area you need help with. Before just selecting an attorney at random it would be advisable to familiarize yourself with the way law works. Many states have websites to guide people. Check out everything before you hire a lawyer.Set yourself a goal to locate a lawyer who you like and trust. One you can confide in and one who will care about what happens to you. A lawyer is in many ways your conscience so choose with care. Think about using a reputed lawyer referral service like this one set up by the Massachusetts Bar Association. http://www.massbar.org/lawhelp/need_lawyer/index.php?sw=539&PHPSESSID=a2735a0409a62282c3588fb94561fa9b . The 10 most critical things a lawyer must toe the line for are:1.He must have the proper qualifications and have extensive experience in the field of law you need him for. You cannot choose a criminal lawyer to handle say a divorce case.2.He must agree to handle your case himself and not assign you to a colleague or assistant.3.He must be licensed to work in the area and state or country you need him.4.He must be honest and upfront with you about the case. If he thinks you have no chance of winning he must say so.5.He must answer your questions clearly and tell you about not just his successes but failures too.6.He must be well connected in your area other wise the case will be a damp squib.7.He must not be loose lipped and discuss salient features of your case at social gatherings.8.He must lay the cards on the table regarding fees and there should be no hidden charges.9.His experience should enable him to tell you how long he thinks your case will take and what the strong and weak points of your case are.10.He must make an effort to listen to you carefully, make notes, read your file thoroughly and not just set the file aside, smile at you and shake your hand within minutes to indicate the meeting is over. What is most essential for you when you step out to hire a lawyer is to do your homework. Ask friends, business colleagues, and others who have ever used a lawyer. Learn how to sift through the chaff and find a lawyer that will suit you most. Do not hire one that charges the lowest fees. Find one that is well qualified, dedicated, and affordable.
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